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Ashes to PhoenixHonor student, writer
Letter my life in calligraphic scriptures
And leave me to myself.
Now I am a worker bee
Oh, a member of society
So far from what I used to be
So far away from you.
She likes to dance, likes to be stationary
Likes to keep away from me
She broke my heart, before the spring set in
Before I could catch my breath.
Look how far I've come
Baby, covered in oil and grime
Ashes to ashes, shit to shit
Ashes to phoenix
I cleaned myself
With your amber, lavender, vegan soap
And came out smelling like a dump.
"Every rose has its
Sewing needles, scissors, ball point pens:
Is my sanity.
Bar shaped shadows
Dance across my bed like
Would if I were anyplace else.
And all I ever want to do is
Sleep but everything keeps moving by
At the speed of light and I can't swallow my own spit anymore
Without it tasting like someone else's.
Must be all the pills they've got me on...
Shouts back contradictions when I think
So I don't think much anymore.
Butter knives and paper cranes;
All the things that they won't let me have...
As I dream of oblivion from this cracker-box paper cell.
Bottled UpDon't look at me,
With lying, glossy eyes
Don't pull my heart strings
Until you've ripped out every seam
why don't you hear me scream
and see me cry?
You cradle every fragile wound
You play along with every game
without you I would never be the same
You're a bum, and you are perfect.
Imperfectly, ignoring me
Forgetting that I've lost my way
And trying, always, to comfort me.
I can't see that you're perfect.
too young to be so cynical,
too old to make-believe
too much of an emotional
to sew back up these broken seams [can you do it for me?]
A cliche, fickle drama queen.
[you cradle every shallow wound,
but miss all the inf
Friends Until TomorrowWe are
For a moment
Inseperatable until we go our seperate ways
At the end of each exultant day.
Will you support me for
That flashes by like headlights
On an ague, langiud night?
Or whenever it's convenient
For our ever-busy lives
Where every moment is a lie.
The Reason I am Breathing"You are lost
And I am losing
Can you feel the crystal raindrops
Are you desensitized?
I can see the light!
How bright it shines
Oh, almost blinding,
It came too late.
Please don't turn your back
On your convictions, on your friends,
And on your dreams.
Please don't lose it all
Don't lose control like I did
I beg of you
Don't say that it's too late
For you to feel the rain
And see the light
Don't say that it's too late
Like I did."
We're getting married today
The ones who cry out "Your mistake!"
Huddle up together on one side
The ones who held my hand
Stand to my right
The sun is shining, music plays
and I am suffocating
On your open-eyed affection!
On our matching platinum rings
And on this light.
I found the note this morning,
It was crinkled by her palm
It was meaningless to me
Because I hold my friends and my convictions
Close like death
And I can feel the crystal ra
To Hell With HappinessSenseless treason
What's the reason for this blatancy
I can still be all that I want to be
Without wearing a banner, a decree
Then everyone would copy me.
Shh, keep your loved ones close
And all your secrets closer
Keep your soul contained within
One hollow flask
To hell with Lovers!
And to hell with all Best Friends
Who needs companions
On this bumpy, one-lane path
Of lost convictions to the past
Alone at last.
In my head
A gift from Heaven
A curse from Hell
Destroying my being
From the inside
And leaving nothing behind
Descentfirst noticed is the
an invasion of his ears
as in an auditorium
viewing the vivisection of
slicing away at
all that he is
body shattering into
thousands of cells
scattering to the winds
spells cast by the wicked
from antiquated books
anyone could acquire
all bear a curse
that cannot be denied
may be the cause of it
if it is not admitted
cannot be a figment
creeping shadows watching
rending the friable curtain
separating rational thought
from the other side
devoid of light and trust
ragged gashes gape
infinite gulf beckons hideously
an irresistible pull
scraping off clinging lucidity
lo, a brush against the hand
a thin filament
flimsy as spider silk
tenacious as a spider’s web
to this he clings
tenuous grasp on
As My Veins Turn Red Again
Within darkness I writhe, as his whispering blows wither my lips to autumn,
I know every stone of this floor, colored with congealed carmine that oozed off my eye
Your talons grasp my shoulder, a vulture clutching carrion close to it's beak
Your serpent fangs shatter all sensation in my shoulder
your knife makes my broken veins howl for plasma, your purple haze chokes the air off me
A crown of thorns are the remnants of my pride crying its demise,
As you whisper your howled haunted horrific hallucinations
The cries of my dried throat have been clasped in unheard silences.
A false sunrise grasps my heart in its leather fingers,
My eyes open greyyed with the smoke of your cigar
No more can I choke down my own blood boiled to black clumps
Acid runs in my veins, ruins in my cheeks, eats me in-out
Your cane strikes and blade slits, spelling out your pleasure
But as you make your last slash, the lioness inside me erupts at last.
The last slash still burns but I escaped my chains,
tore from y
Mendel's garden invasionThe garland devil leaves his daughters to roam sour gardens,
to squeeze perfume across their necks like lemons.
Sisters six mock Split-limes for her craving to lock candles in her lips:
Limes is a blunted thought-machine, a muted philosopher
but her sheets shake with magic,
each master watches his gooseflesh bubble like champagne.
I can rub old wine and apple slime deep into my pores,
But lemons, I shall never wear lemons,
the slur to existence, sliding down god's lungs.
Our den was never a cathedral, sisters six,
your bloodline quivers with a wild sin
bitten from the freedom tree.
The tasteless soil expels the girls who drip,
leaving the garland devil to roam their necks,
wryly tending lemon trees.
Poupee desarticuleePoupée désarticulée
Apparait dans le noir
Vole mes jouets usés
Et mes petits mouchoirs
Rit fort aux éclats
De mille verres brisés
Broyés au coutelas
Me tisse une jolie robe
En cauchemars satinés
Aux yeux claustrophobes
N'est pas la bienvenue
Mes parents m'ont grondée
Parce qu'elle est revenue.
Betwixt Loving BloodDeathly still in grey soft smoke her whisper clear
Warm breath tempting misty memory within
Seduction gleaning soon invoke dim silhouette appear
Rose petals resting upon cold porcelain
Dreaming of silky vanilla divine
Golden leaf riding silver tide
White chocolate and blood red wine
For ethereal beauty I abide
Mystery weaving raven hair
Compelled by firelight dancing allure
Glistening before me feminine fair
Black latex immaculate maiden grandeur
Oh pale mistress bathed by moonlight
Your fiery eyes beseech me so
Vixen seductress of sweet twilight
Intoxicating grasp your crimson glow
Candles melting moist ivory skin
Lips of cherry against delicate lace
Lure everlasting veil made thin
Bewitching gaze mystical embrace
You haunt me in ecstasy electric desire
Charming my senses unspeakable bliss
Spectral enchantress for whom I aspire
May I appeal just one single kiss?
Sapphire eyes begin to sheen
Crescent grin and nod of her head
Gliding closer yet still in between
Upon the velvet for her I
HangingThe wooden door
in her chest
by what reality
they wished to exist
she was a witch
in their existence
but just another
human in hers.
A vampire never dies.Her hair made of moonlight
lighter then her skin
her red eyes full of sorrow
the vampire sits
surrounded by splendor and riches
everything a young girl could dream for
but a vampire never dies.
Her heart mourns
knowing she has killed thousands
knowing she can never die
longing for the other world
for this one cannot fill the emptiness in her heart.
Blood can no longer quench her thirst
toys and gold, cannot cure her sorrow
the pain in knowing the thousands she killed
the pain in knowing, she cannot die
drives her to kill again.
to drink down the delicious blood
to forget her sorrow
for just a moment
to drown it in the blood of others.
to see the blood fall from there necks
as she licks it up.
For just a moment
she can drown her sorrow
lost in another ones blood.
Suffocate MeSuffocate me,
Strangle out these memories
I'd bleed myself away for you
If only you'd help me to forget
All of my dead-end happiness
From days and weeks and months ago, still lingering: a shadow.
Like an unacheivable dream
I see you offering your phantom hand to me
Always just far enough away
That I can never reach it.
All of our hatred and our rage
Boils us down to meatless skin and bones
Until we're begging to be saved
From our own pointless self destructions.
My mind is a prison and a gift
If only I didn't feel so worthless
Then the echos that bounce off these prison walls
Could make me smile and love again
Instead of wishing I could end this.
So just suffocate me,
Choke out all my pent-up tears
And kill me off
So when I wake again
These memories will really be gone
And not simply repressed or stored away,
Waiting for another day
To show me all the disasters that have made me
Whoever it is I have become.
I want to murder myself
So that I can be someone else
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